I daydream about you making love to me all day.
I wish you didn’t exist in my mind.
I wish I could just erase all the hurt you’ve poured into my heart without a second thought.
I don’t even recognize you anymore.
When I look into your eyes you’re so far away from me.
I hate you, but I love you.
I know you don’t deserve any of my time after everything you’ve put me through yet I don’t have the strength then put my foot down… because I know you aren’t yourself right now - unless you’ve suddenly turned into this monster.
I know one day you’ll realize what you lost, but by the time you figure that out it might be too late.
I gave you my everything and for months you played games with my head with all your second guessing.
You aren’t the boy I fell in love with anymore… that’s what hurts the most.
All the things you told me, the promises you made - all thrown away.
I’ll never forget the day we climbed to the top of Honeymoon bluff and you told me you wished you could propose to me right then and hated that you couldn’t and you were so genuine.
Now you treat me like a pest you just want to get rid of.
Heartache is universal which brings some comfort, but I don’t know how long it’s going to take me to heal from what you’ve done to me while you sit moving on as if nothing ever happened between us.
What was I thinking?